Why Thanksgiving doesn’t feel the same anymore: a personal reflection on family, history and truth.

Thanksgiving hasn’t felt the same for me since 2019. I honestly can’t remember the last time my whole family came together for the holiday. My parents and siblings live in another state, and this year I ended up staying home instead of visiting family nearby—partly because I’m on my period, and partly because I just wasn’t in the mood for the whole “holiday spirit” thing.

And honestly… what’s the big deal anymore?

We treat Thanksgiving like this picture-perfect moment of togetherness, but at the same time we’re literally celebrating a holiday tied to trauma for multiple Indigenous nations. Meanwhile, the government feels like it’s falling apart more every day, but we pause once a year to dress up, eat turkey, and pretend everything is fine.

Don’t get me wrong—gratitude is important. Family time is important. But it feels strange that so many people focus only on the food and nostalgia, not the history behind Thanksgiving or the people this holiday continues to hurt. It’s like we want the cozy parts without acknowledging the truth.

Maybe I’m feeling this way because I’m taking a class that exposes so many inaccuracies in the way U.S. history is taught—especially around Native American communities. As a Black woman, I’ve always been aware of how the “official story” often centers the groups our society favors most. Learning more about the roots of inequality, homelessness, and how our economy keeps failing people has me examining everything differently… including holidays we take for granted.

So it really makes me question:

Why are we celebrating gratitude on a day that still offends Indigenous people?

And why do we use holidays as distractions from the problems we see every single day?

No wonder other countries side-eye the U.S. sometimes.

What I’m Reading Right Now

I’m currently on Chapter 9 of A Fate Inked in Blood by Danielle Jensen, and I’m really enjoying it so far. It has this old-folktale vibe, almost like it pulls from Scottish or Irish mythology, especially with the mentions of Odin and multiple gods. It’s outside my usual YA comfort zone, but the strong female lead and the myth-heavy world building definitely pulled me in.

What About You?

I love hearing what other people are reading or watching—especially during the holidays when everyone’s curled up with something cozy.

What are you reading right now? Watching anything good?

And since it is Thanksgiving:

What’s your must-have turkey day food?

(I’m nosy. Drop it in the comments.)

Current Events.

I just wanted to take this time to acknowledge the current situation in Afghan. I truly think it is horrible that we haven't helped this country, and they are still falling under the ruling and punishments of the Taliban. At the same time, I think it's hard to help other people and we, the United States, are still in deep shit. I am not saying one event is more important than the other. On Instagram today I commented under a post from Congresswoman Cori Bush who was saying that we as a country have a duty to save lives, and we welcome as many refugees as possible. I think that's a wonderful idea, but I questioned her motive because how are we going to reach out to them and save them, and get them over here just so they can have more freedom but still lack the tools for basic survival? Tools like a steady job, child care, housing, and other things needed to sustain families, we are even able to give those things to United States citizens. Another commentator disagreed with me and mentioned that we as a state are able to walk and chew gum, basically insinuating that we can do both. By the statistics, that was ignorant to me, but I don't have time to argue on social media, we all have a right to our opinion. Los Angeles had just reported the highest number of homeless people last year after Covid hit, so obviously as a state, no, we cant walk and chew gum. I need people to understand that I am not saying that whats going on is okay, if we were at a better standing as a nation, I would make sure I could contribute as a citizen, but I wouldn't lie to help people just so they could suffer in a different place. 

What do you guys think? Also feel free to sign my petition, and add me on Instagram as I bring these questions to light. I think these topics need to be open for our citizens to comment on. We are the country that we could help them the most with our multiple resources to save these people from the horrors of the Taliban. I think they believe in unrealistic beliefs because they treat their own people more like cattle than human beings. Why aren’t women allowed to do things that men can do as far as jobs, and even going to the local market for a soda on their own? The actual site of a person lifting their small baby over the wall to USA troops is how real this situation has gotten. People having to sacrifice their entire families because they know they are not safe. Countless killings for absolutely no reason, it really breaks me down to think about what this country is going through. I also want to mention that Biden shouldn’t be blamed for this because he had already made his bed while Trump was in office. Anyone can bring up Trump's speech when he stated that we needed to bring the troops home.

UPDATED BLOG POST (2025 Version)

Afghanistan, Refugees, and the Reality of Helping People When Our Own Country Is Struggling

Updated in 2025:

When I first wrote about Afghanistan in 2021, the U.S. withdrawal had just happened, the Taliban had taken control again, and people all over the world were watching heartbreaking scenes unfold. I’m revisiting this post because even though the headlines faded, the reality hasn’t. Afghan families are still suffering — and many families in the U.S. are still struggling too.

This isn’t about choosing one group over another. It’s about asking honest questions about what real help actually looks like.

My Original Concern Still Stands

Back in 2021, I commented on a post from Congresswoman Cori Bush. She said the U.S. had a duty to save lives and welcome as many refugees as possible. I agreed with the idea — saving people matters. But I questioned how we were going to do it in a country that has millions of its own citizens fighting to survive every day.

I wasn’t attacking the idea of helping refugees. I was asking a realistic question:

How can we rescue people from one crisis only to bring them into another?

Refugees need:

• Housing
• Child care
• Trauma support
• Job opportunities
• Long-term stability

And honestly, many Americans — especially mothers, low-income families, and unhoused people — are still fighting for those same basic things.

A Comment That Stuck With Me

Someone replied to me saying, “We can walk and chew gum,” meaning the U.S. can help its own people AND help refugees at the same time.

I understand that point better now than I did then.

But the reality is:

We have not proven that we can “walk and chew gum.”

Los Angeles alone reported record-high homelessness after the pandemic, and things have not magically improved since. So when someone tells me the U.S. can easily support thousands of new families while struggling to take care of the ones already here, it still feels disconnected from what people are experiencing on the ground.

Afghan Women & Girls: The Part That Still Breaks My Heart

One of the hardest things to accept is how the Taliban continues to treat women.

Since 2021:

• Girls older than 10 have been banned from school
• Women can’t travel without a male guardian
• Many are barred from work
• Even going to the market alone is forbidden
• Religious police patrol the streets, beating or arresting women for “improper” clothing

These are human beings — mothers, daughters, teachers, professionals — suddenly reduced to prisoners in their own country.

The image of parents lifting their babies over the airport wall to U.S. troops will always stay with me. Imagine being so terrified that you hand your child to a stranger, not knowing if you’ll ever see them again.

Who’s to Blame?

I still believe blaming one president is too simple. This situation didn’t start with Biden, and it didn’t end with Trump. The U.S. was in Afghanistan for two decades across multiple administrations. Decisions layered on top of decisions led to a chaotic, painful ending — and civilians paid the price.

So Where Do We Go From Here?

I don’t believe in pretending to help people. If we’re going to welcome refugees, we need to do it in a way that ensures:

• Safety
• Housing
• Healthcare
• Financial support
• Education
• Long-term stability

And we also need to address our domestic issues with the same energy.

Helping one group shouldn’t mean abandoning another.

Let’s Talk About It

These conversations matter — especially for regular citizens who see both sides up close. If you want to join in, follow me on Instagram @mamachey2025. I talk about topics like this because they affect all of us, whether we realize it or not.

And if you have resources for refugees, low-income families, homeless support programs, or community aid, share them in the comments. Sometimes real change starts locally, not nationally.