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 So I am being forced to leave the house in two days, and my anxiety has been through the roof. I am sure a lot of you have seen the story of the woman who lost her son after a routine doctor's appointment. I take care of Skyler, and I don't abuse him, and some might say my son is spoiled, but I am still worried. Skyler was diagnosed with a gross motor delay and referred to occupational, physical, and feeding therapy. I was taking him in the beginning but with me having to depend on public transportation amongst covid, and have the therapist call out and not being notified till after I've caught one out of 2 buses, I decided to look for an in-home therapy option. He just turned 18 months, and although he has started to take some steps on his own, he still isn't fully walking. The other day he ate his full solid meal of macaroni and cheese with peas and carrots. After that day he was even able to eat some oatmeal. Since the first day though, he prefers the baby food, and when I tried changing it up, he gagged and vomited. I don't have the resources to give him the care he deserves. I just lost my job and since they won't put him on my insurance since I'm on my mother's, he's stuck with the county Medicaid. See if I had the money, I would just pay for it out of pocket. If I drove it would be safer for me to stick with the therapy because we wouldn't be risking our lives walking in 100-degree weather and constantly around strangers. I really haven't gone anywhere past the apartment dumpster in over a month, and it really is because I feel safe here. I know we are clean, and we don't go to overcrowded stores because I get everything delivered. At the same time, Skyler has never been to a regular park with other children or the in-door play gyms at the mall, but I just can't risk losing my baby or risk my health which would result in me not being there for him. I don't want anyone else looking after my son until he can talk, and piece together any events where he's being mistreated. Maternal instincts are really a force to be reckoned with. I just want to get this appointment over with, Skyler is getting shots so that adds to the anxiety, and come home. 

- Fin