Monday, December 8, 2025

De-Influencing the Influenced

So now that you’re all tuning in once a week, I want to share the purpose behind this blog — and honestly, why I’m here writing again. Fun fact: this is the only blog that survived from the three I once started around the same time. One of them was even on Tumblr… do people still use Tumblr? I have no idea.


Growing up, I always felt like I didn’t quite fit anywhere. My generation, my family, even friends — everyone had a label for me that never really matched who I was. As an African American woman, I’ve often heard I’m not “Black enough” for my family but not “white enough” for my friends. I loved Hilary Duff just as much as BeyoncĂ©. My favorite color was blue, yet I always wore black. I’ve always been my own ping-pong ball — bouncing between worlds, never fully landing in one.


I didn’t have the stereotypical “tough” childhood — though there’s trauma there I’ll unpack another day. I grew up middle-class with nice things, trips, amusement parks… and yet even with all that, I didn’t feel understood.


Then adulthood hit. And I learned the hard way that most people don’t care as much as they claim to. Parents say they love their kids, yet child abuse rates are high. People call their pets their best friends, yet the same pets are the first to be abandoned. And here’s a truth that might make me less likeable: a lot of people only help others when it benefits their own ego. Not impossible to find real love, but rare.


That realization even started at home. If someone spoils their child with gifts but starves them of time, patience, or affection — that’s not love. A new iPhone at 16 won’t teach them how to handle heartbreak at 21. Lack of nurture follows you into your 50s. We see the effects everywhere, every day.


So no — I’m not saying strip away every joy in life. If you can afford luxuries? Enjoy them!


What I am saying is:

this blog exists to wake us up. To de-influence us.


We’re too comfortable living ordinary, numb lives — going through motions someone else scripted. I don’t want that for myself. I don’t want it for my kids. And I don’t want it for you.


I want this blog to be my legacy — messy, honest, imperfect. I want my children to one day read every post, even the confusing, chaotic ones from the beginning. I want us to unlearn together. I want this to be a place where we question the “truths” the world feeds us.


The lies like:

Diet soda is healthy because it’s “diet”

You should care what people think

Salad automatically equals nutrition

Followers determine your importance

Dressing like Barbie while you feel like Wednesday Addams inside is “normal”

Knowing the square root of pi is more valuable than knowing what interest rates mean

“Little” abuse doesn’t count if it leaves no mark

Staying for the kids is better than leaving for yourself

Silence keeps the peace


We’re surrounded by mixed messages that keep us confused and controlled. Fast food is convenient, but being sick isn’t. I’ve been diabetic since I was six — still no cure. My son is autistic — he may only receive structured support until he’s 21 — but now anything and everything supposedly “causes” autism. Meanwhile, research and answers lag behind.


Do you ever think about this stuff? It’s okay if life keeps you too busy — but if I can get one reader to think more deeply, to question, to care… then I’m doing something worthwhile.


I’m not here to create a team or preach my opinions as law. I don’t want a fan club. I want conversation. Reflection. Growth.


While my peers were arguing Team Jacob or Team Edward, I was wondering why society distracts us so easily — entertainment in exchange for awareness. And I fell into those distractions too. I chased love I didn’t receive, clung to fantasies that never existed.


But that wasn’t reality.

And I’m learning to choose reality now — even the uncomfortable parts.


So welcome to the reawakening of this blog.

To the messy truths.

To questioning the world.

To finding ourselves — loud, bold, imperfect.


We’re just getting started.

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